si kuya..

My ever daring Friends..

Sino???

sino ang makakapagsabi kung sino ka talaga...ang mahirap sa atin ngayon ay marami sa atin ang humuhusga sa kung ano at saan tayo. Mahirap lumaban kung ang kaharap mo ay maymashigit pang dala kaysa sa kung ano ang dapat kailangang dalhin. Grabe kala mo kung sino makapagsalita oo inaamin ko na napabayaan ko ang pamilya ko sa kadahilanang ang sarili kp lamang ang iniintindi ko pero hindi dapat sabihin sa akin na wala akong pagmamahal sa aking mga anak...oo nasasabi nila yan kasi wala sila sa kalalagayan namin ngayon, nais kong umuwi ngunit dahil na rin s hiya kaya hindi matuloy sabayan pa ng kawalang pera. Ang hirap sa atin laging sa iba ang tingin bakit kaya hindi tingnan muna ang mga sarili nila bago magturo at pumansin sa iba..inis ako dahil ayaw ko sa lahat na husgahan ang nararamdaman ko sa mga anak ko at tanungin kung gaano ko sila kamahal...

A Year of Graces and Mercies...

The year 2011 is the year of full of grace and mercies. Everything in mu life become so complicated for I work on my might and on my strength. I become so full of undefinable scarcity of goodness and love maybe because I work by myself and encounter everything through my own line and decision. I explore the loneliness of being alone in the middle of wilderness, middle of nowhere. I become so stupid in deciding a small thing even stand on the right path of being a human. S human being that not being treat to become so special but being nonsense and useless..

as the day past...

As the days past faster than I thought I don't know what to do. It is like a virus that everyday become malignant and become so perspiring over my body. Actually I really don't know what to say nor do about this matter just want to say something for myself knowing that it become so admonishing of myself..respectively to myself I become wandere and nothing to do I feel that I am barren as a human being I don't want to cry pero siguro ang pinakamahirap na tanggapin sa sarili na you are liar and deceptive. Liar in the sense that you didn't accept to yourself that you commit mistake and accept that you need help of other until you pursue the calling and mission that divine creator gave to you. Ayaw ko ipalam ang aking nararamdaman sa lahat kaya nga I used this blog to express my feeling and my illusion over myself. Self Gratification ba..A of this day wala pa kaming contact ng wife ko I don't know maybe because I am afraid to call her and tell her another lies. I don't have allies anymore knowing on what I done to my family likewise to myself.

So What New??/

after so many hardship and trials in life what's new on the new days that has come??Well there is no new in me perhaps it is because I didn't learned from the past experiences that I encounter and endeavor. I admit that I become complacent on everything I relaxed to the time that I need to do something for changes. Indeed that changes is inevitable but you need to do something in order to gain from the things that you encounter and to the new height and perspective of life. My philosophy in life is just as plain and simple as this "What shall profit a man if he gain the whole world and lost his soul". Maybe in the other side of my philosophy it is true but that reality that we are existing is one of the evidence that we are alive and we need to do something in order to survived. Surviving in the midst of challenges make yourself proud and sour high and fly like an eagle...I don't have worked now because I choose to do it rather than to think the implication of what decision that I had done. I become upset because until now I don't know what tomorrow will bring.

Time Passed...

The time passed faster than I thought. Everything is different from the first I encounter the people around me and the people who passed by too. One of friend of mine passed away last September 22, I don't know what is his illness nor if he sick. I only shocked when I read from my facebook account that He already finished his raced. I am total upset and of coursed sad because nor in my dreams and expectation that it will happened as early as this time, but still indeed that life is too short and no matter what investment you are going to invest it is still that we are come from the dust so the dust we return...When Nanay Wena left us it's ok knowing that she fought for the rest of her days to the cancer that little by little she drifted eat by her sickness but when I heard about Tatay Benny well different cause when we face one on one after a year I saw him very strong and healthy. He's a good tatay for me as well to our church and the circle of our youth cause he taught us so many thing in terms of our christian life and philosophy. He is great knowing that he is good...Thanks for the wonderful memories tatay Bennie...